Day 7, January 11

Do you have people in your life whom you love but don't always like? It might be a family member. It might be a friend. Somehow you find yourself loving them but not liking them.

If you don't, that's great. If you're like me and have mixed feelings toward someone, welcome to the club. You're not alone.

This dichotomy of feelings is an unsettling one. At least for me. How can I love someone but at the same time not like him? And then I start wondering if my love is not real love. If I truly love that individual, how can I NOT like him?

Maybe that love is not as genuine as I profess. Maybe it's just a sham. Maybe that love is only a tepid warmth of feeling that comes and goes depending upon that person's behavior.

This I know for sure: love is hard work.

Day 6, January 10

It's no secret that my politics are conservative. It's also no secret that my patience is strained when it comes to people who expect others to take care of them when they have no desire to take care of themselves, who believe the world owes them a living.

Part of this is a product of my upbringing. (I was raised by parents who were children of the Depression. They expected to work and to save and taught me to do the same.) Part of this is my lack of compassion. And that is my failing.

Compassion for others whose viewpoint doesn't match my own doesn't come easily to me. I tend to think I'm right and dismiss the feelings and attitudes of others.

Can I do both? Can I hold on to my beliefs and still have understanding for those whose beliefs differ from my own? I don't know. I'm still working on it. As in so many areas of my life, I'm still trying to get it right.

I don't have any great take-aways with this post. I struggle every day to find that balance that allows me to be true to myself and to allow others to do the same. And then I think of the Savior, the Exemplar in all things. His love is infinite, extended to everyone, even to me, imperfect and flawed as I am.

In writing, we use the acronym WIP for work-in-progress. This is an apt description for me, a work-in-progress.

This I know for sure: if I am to find compassion for others, I must look to the Savior.

Day 5, January 9

When I was a young wife and mother, I went through what I call my "crafty phase." The truth is, I've never been any good at crafts. My fingers fumbled and stumbled over the least little task.

However, I did find that I could handle an embroidery needle and spent many hours embroidering pictures and sayings. One quote that I did many times over for family members and friends went, "If life tends to come unraveled, hem with prayer."

Don't you love the juxtaposition of those words, the unlikely pairing of hemming and praying? Perhaps they are no so unlikely as well. When we hem a garment, we take up unwanted material. When we pray, we take up the unwanted things in our lives and give them over to the Lord. Each makes the garment and the life fit better.

I can not imagine my life without prayer. I start my day on my knees, pouring out my gratitude and my needs to the Father. I pray throughout the day, in less formal settings, in the car, in the store, as I sit at my computer, and everywhere else. I end my day with prayer as well, finding new things for which to thank the Father and new things for which to ask for His blessings.

We all pray in different ways. Our language varies. Our needs vary. Our words of praise vary. But one thing remains constant: for those moments, we are in communication with the Lord.

This thing I know for sure: my day would quickly unravel without prayer.

Day 4, January 8

Yesterday I quoted a scripture, "Wickedness never was happiness."

Today I'd liked to expand on that with my own spin on it: Selfishness never was happiness.

I can hear you thinking now, "Well, duh." Well, duh, indeed. We all know that. Don't we? I should know it. I've been taught it from the time I was a small child. At home. In church. Yet selfishness continues to plague me.

I try not to be selfish with my means, though I occasionally am. What am I selfish with then? A better question would be, What am I not selfish with?

Time. Energy. Forgiveness. I have been selfish with all of these and more. Time is a finite commodity, and I don't like to give it up. Energy is becoming a more and more finite commodity for me. What about forgiveness?

I don't give forgiveness easily. Isn't that ironic? The word itself contains the word "give." But I struggle and will probably always struggle in giving forgiveness, in letting go of old hurts and grudges. (If you don't believe me, ask my husband.)

So I muddle through the morass of my selfishness, trying to do better, trying to be better. As always, if I truly want to change, I must turn to the Savior.

This I know for sure: selfishness never was happiness.

Day 3, January 7

Scripture states, Wickedness never was happiness.

I have a confession to make: sometimes I have a hard time accepting this, when, in my more shallow moments, I watch clips of media stars who seem to be living the good life. They parade their less-than-moral lifestyles with pride, even arrogance.

If wickedness never were happiness, I ponder, why are these individuals so blessed with beauty, riches,, and talent? They appear to have everything, at least everything the world tells us is important. I'm not proud of the envy that besets me, as I wish for some of those things for myself. Surely my life would be better if I were beautiful, rich, and talented. Surely all my wishes would be granted if I had at least one of those things.

Then, my more mature self kicks in and I remember that those outward trappings don't guarantee happiness, and I reflect upon true blessings: a husband who loves me, children and grandchildren, devoted friends, and a belief in the Lord.

This I know for sure: wickedness never was happiness.

Day 2, January 6

My two little grandsons, Brigham (7) and Isaac (4) are here visiting. In between the noise and confusion and mess and dirty dishes, we find a few minutes to read.

In reading a book about CARS, we learned that Lightning McQueen was entered in a race. Doc of Radiator Springs served as his pit crew. Unfortunately, McQueen didn't win. However, according to the book, he had "a winner in his pit crew."

Don't you love that? McQueen didn't win the race but he was a winner in friends. There is such wisdom in those simple words. They were intended for children, but I think they apply to all of us.

Are you a winner in friends? I hope so. I know I'm a winner there. My friends are there for me, no matter what. When I feel like a failure in everything else, I remember that I am a winner in one of the most important things.

This I know for sure: if you have friends as your pit crew, you will always be a winner.

Day 1, January 5

I know--I'm late in starting a blog this year. I guess that's because it's taken me five days in to the New Year to know what I want to write. To tell the truth, I wanted to ignore this prompting. Blogging every day is hard. No doubt about it.

The older I get (and any more that's pretty old), the less I realize I know. Is that a mark of maturity? Is it a sign of wisdom? I don't know. But there are a few things I do know for sure.

What do you know for sure? What do you know with absolute faith and total certainty?

That is the title of my blog this year: This I know for sure.

Let's start with the biggest of those certainties:

The Savior loves me. He is at my side even when I don't feel Him, even when I don't recognize His presence, even when I don't deserve Him. Especially when I don't deserve Him. He is there. Always.

Do you remember the poem that was popular a few years back of "Footsteps in the Sand?" When the two sets of footprints become one, the individual walking asks why the Lord deserted him. The Lord responds that He was carrying His child. (A paraphrase of the poem.)

This I know for sure: The Lord loves me, loves all of us.