Day 308, November 14

"None of us were meant to match. We were meant to fit together. Two identical puzzle pieces don't fit.'"--Beth Moore

Sometimes I wonder why Larry and I can't match better.  He thinks in linear terms, and I think like a bowl of spaghetti.  He likes cars and machines.  I like pretty necklaces and my kitty Harley.  These are some of the more obvious differenes.  Deeper are those in how we try to reach our goals.  Though we have the same goals for our family, our eternal progression, we go about achieving them very differently.

When I look at my children and worry over them and their mates, I see many of the same things Larry and I struggle with.  We each want the other to be more like ourselves.

And then I realize that that won't work either.  What if Larry and I were identical?  (Well, not really identical, but you get the point.)  Neither of us would be happy because we would only reflect each other, rather than complement each other.  I don't want to wake up in the morning and see a carbon copy of me.  Yuck!

I want to wake up and see the person who completes me, who understands me, who puts up with me, who loves me despite all of that putting up with.  

Joy for today:  fitting.

Day 307, November 13

"I am me and that is good enough."

I found this in my son Rob's blog.  This is not the first time I've quoted Rob.  It probably won't be the last.  He has an insightful way of expressing himself and possesses a sensitivity that surprises me at times.

Have you ever wanted to be someone else?  (If not, stop reading.  This blog is not for you.)  If you have, if you are like me, and want to be someone else, with someone else's talents and strengths and gifts, you know that it can be a frustrating, even painful, experience.

I want to be Alanna.  I want to be Janet.  I want to be Amanda. I want to be Alisa.   I want to be Marilyn and Laurie and Jeannie and Audra and  Marian and Tami and Leslie and Karen and Beverly and Barbara and Stephen King!  Well, really, I don't want to write horror as King does, but I would like to have his talent and command of the language.

Instead, I'm just me, with all my foibles, weaknesses, and sins.  Not to mention a few eccentricities which my family likes to remind me of.  And so I keep trying.  To be a better me.

Joy for today:  being a better me.

Day 306, November 12

Last week, a friend and I were emailing back and forth as she waited for news about her mother's health.  (Her mother has cancer.)

We talked about the fact that Heavenly Father loves her mother even more than she does, that His love is perfect and infinite.  Of course, the Atonement came up.  I reminded her (and myself) that the Atonement makes up not only for all of our sins, but also for all of our suffering, pain, and tears.  Isn't that amazing?

Christ's Atonement is so vast, so far-reaching and yet so intimate, so personal.  That is the miracle.  We have only to accept Him into our lives to make the Atonement ours.

Accepting the Savior into our lives, making a covenant with Him requires we have a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  That is difficult for those of us (me) who have a proud heart and a rebellious spirit.  When will I ever learn?  I continue to be amazed at the Savior's patience.

Joy for today:  realizing that the Atonement can be ours.

Day 305, November 11

"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop". ~Anonymous

This weekend has been a roller coaster of emotions as Larry and I returned to Utah for the first time since my sister's death.  The reason for being here--to see a new granddaughter--is a cause for joy.  There was much smiling.  There were no kisses, unfortunately, because Julie Nadean was born a month early and had to be protected from any possible infection.  But I did get to hold her, to tell her that Grandma loved her and would always love her.  And then there were teardrops as I saw familiar places where Carla and I used to go.

That pretty well describes life, doesn't it--smiles, kissing (even in my dreams), and teardrops.

Joy for today:  having reasons to smile, dreams of kissing, memories with teardrops.

Day 304, November 10

A new granddaughter arrived four weeks early.  It was scary and worrying and wonderful.  Steven and Melinda's sweet Julie Nadean burst into the world at three pounds and one ounce.  Incredibly tiny.  Incredibly perfect.  Incredibly welcome.

Prayers and fasts were offered on her behalf and that of her parents.  They still face a long road as Julie works to gain weight and grow stronger.  Each ounce gained is a cause for celebration.

Joy for today:  rejoicing in this new life.

Day 303, November 9

Yesterday I wrote about clouds.  Today's post is a different take on the same.

As a child, I saw animals, trees, dragons, fairies, and even the occasional cow in clouds.  My active imagination knew no boundaries.  As an adult, I lost much of that ability.  My mind was cluttered with the busy-ness of life. Important things, I told myself.  Necessary things.  And maybe they were ... are.  But how sad that I lost so much.

Where did that creativity go?  Did it just evaporate?  Or is it still there, buried beneath worries, grief, and other burdens that make up so much of this mortal existence?  I don't know, but I'm going to try to unearth that child-like imagination.

Joy for today:  setting my imagination free.

Day 302, November 8

 ""In the Bible clouds are always associated with God. Clouds are the sorrows, sufferings and providential circumstances, within or without our personal lives, which actually seem to contradict the sovereignty of God. Yet it is through these very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith. If there were never any clouds in our lives, we would have no faith. 'The clouds are the dust of His feet" (Nahum 1:3). They are a sign that God is there.'"--Oswald Chambers

IIt seems that I've had too many clouds in my life in the last year.  The death of a dear friend, that of my sister, and of two sweet aunts brought me to my knees.  And then I realized that that was just where I needed to be.  On my knees.  There, I was reminded to humble myself and to beg for the Lord's mercies, which He, of course, extended liberally.

Joy for today:  having clouds in my life to remind me of faith's sustaining power.