Day 181, June 30

I have always appreciated the story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare sprinted ahead, confident of his abilities to win the race with little effort. Meanwhile, the tortoise made slow but steady progress. In the end, of course, the tortoise won the race.

This story is a metaphor for life. I have friends who are amazingly talented in their writing. They write quickly, send out a "partial," which is a synopsis and three chapters. When they receive a call from an editor to submit the whole manuscript, they promise themselves they will write two pages, five pages, etc. a day and submit it in a timely fashion. Too many never send in the complete book. Like the hare, they waste that opportunity and ability.

I have never been a hare. I move slowly. I can't run. Neither can I write in sprints. I accept this about myself and try to work with what I have. Deliberate, measured steps are my style. When writers get together and talk about plotting, I have to confess that I am not a plotter but a plodder. I plod along, finishing my books on my own schedule.

Those of you who are gardeners understand the necessary steps to reaping a good harvest. Preparing the soil. Planting. Watering. Weeding. Tending. These cannot be rushed; neither can they be done in a marathon of activity. Twelve hours in one day will not make up for twelve days of neglect.

So, for today, I am grateful for lessons from a tortoise.

Day 180, June 29

As a child, I had many expectations. Of myself. Of others. Unmet expectations filled me with all sorts of untidy feelings, feelings that I couldn't identify or understand.

As I grew, so did my expectations. At times, they riddled me with guilt when I didn't meet them for myself. At times, they spurred me to do good things, creative things. And sometimes, they were a plain nuisance.

As I've mentioned before, I am an avid garage saler. Upon occasion, I would set off with the determination to find a specific item. This resolve frequently met with failure. But you know what? That was all right. For I usually found something far better.

This is called serendipity. Isn't that a great word? It conjures up pictures of all sorts of treasures and delights. Like the time I found not one but two genuine Chanel purses. Who can resist Chanel?

Life can be like a garage sale, denying you the thing you thought you were looking for while putting something much more precious in your path.

So, for today, I am grateful for unmet expectations.

Day 179, June 28

My accumulated years should impart some wisdom to me. Unfortunately, any wisdom I might have gleaned from life's experiences seems to have made little impression upon me for I continue to make the same mistakes over and over.

Unlike the toddler who is learning to walk and soon learns what works and what doesn't, I can't seem to get it through my head of what works and what doesn't in life. I have always had a sharp memory (until recently) that stood me in good stead for remembering dates, facts, and other bits of trivia. My memory, though, fails me in cognizing the important things.

Scripture and the prophets tell me that forgiving those who have wronged me (or my family) is essential, but I hold onto grudges as though they were a life vest. Grudges provide important functions. They comfort me when I am lonely. They bolster my self-righteousness. They give credence to my bias toward certain people.

Grudges also keep me from progressing, both in this life and in the hereafter. They keep me from giving time and energy to those I love. They keep me from loving more fully.

So, for today, I am grateful not for grudges, but for reminders to let them go.

Day 178, June 27

God, through His infinite wisdom and His children, provides just what we need when we need it. Just as I pondered on what I should write for today's blog, a friend sent me the following quote by Mother Theresa:

"God is a friend of silence. See how nature -- trees, flowers, grass -- grow in silence. See the stars, the moon, the sun, how they move in silence. The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life. We need silence to be able to touch souls. The essential thing is not what we say, but what God says to us and through us. All our words will be useless unless they come from within. Words which do not give the Light of Christ increase the darkness."

What beautiful words. They rival the finest in poetry. Notice how the author compares nature's growth with our own and that both flourish in silence. I find in my own relationships that I learn more when I am quiet than when I am chattering away. Nowhere is that more true than in my conversations with God. After I have finished my pleading with Him for mercies and thanking Him for blessings, I try to listen. Too frequently, though, I am anxious to move on to the next part of my day to spend the time necessary to hear His words.

So, for today, I am grateful for the reminder of the need for silence.

Day 177, June 26

Who knew that our world would spin so crazily? Do you ever want to call a halt to the busy-ness of life and say, "Stop, world. I need to catch up?"

I spend a lot of time playing catch up. I catch up on my writing. I catch up on my laundry. I catch up on my housework. I catch up on any number of things. The only problem is that I never do completely catch up. There is always one more story to write, one more load of laundry to do, one more room to vacuum and dust.

One day, when all our children were still at home, I threatened anyone with grievous harm if they put an article of clothing in the newly-emptied laundry basket. A full day of doing the wash had left me feeling militant toward anyone who dared to sully that empty basket with dirty clothes.

"Take your clothes outside and bury them in the dirt. Burn them. I don't care. But don't bring them in here."

I issued that directive in all seriousness. No one was going to take away my giddy feeling of knowing that all the sheets, towels, and clothes were clean. Of course, I couldn't keep it up. Dirty clothes found their way into the basket and that glorious moment of having caught up vanished.

When did I become so obsessed about having everything done? Did it start when I was in school and worked to get all my homework done? Did I start when I had a baby, then two, then three, and more and struggled to get anything at all accomplished?

My musings led me to consider my Father in Heaven. Does He ever have to play catch up? Does He ever struggle to get everything done? I'm certain He handles life much better than I do, that He keeps things in perspective and concentrates on the important ones, letting the others go.

Letting things go is hard for me. How do I decide what is important and what is not? I fail dismally at this too many times, but I keep trying, hoping that someday I'll get it right.

So, for today, I am grateful when I catch up on important things ... and for knowing when to let others go.

Day 176, June 25

I am not a fancy person. My house isn't fancy. My car isn't fancy. My clothes aren't fancy. That's all right. Fancy usually means upkeep. Frankly, just doing my personal upkeep is time-consuming enough. For those of us of a certain age, upkeep is hard work. It takes more cream, more hair coloring, just MORE.

I'm not a fan of upkeep. I like things that take care of themselves. That's the primary reason why I currently wear my hair short. However, I believe in upkeep for some things. Recently, I've noticed that I've been lazy in the upkeep od my relationships. How did I allow myself to become so lazy, even sloppy, in tending to the most imporfant thing in life?

When I fail to thank someone for a favor or a gift, I am lazy. When I fail to offer a sincere compliment to someone on a job well done, I am lazy. When I fail to acknowledge God's hand in all blessings, I am lazy. I failed to tend to my upkeep.

You may scoff at such things, claiming that they don't matter. I disagree. Manners are how we treat others and smooth out the rough bumps in life. Have you ever attended a much-awaited concert or lecture, only to have cell phones buzzing during the performance? Worse, have you been forced to listen to someone's private conversation in close quarters? Have you sat in church and witnessed members texting during the worship service? I don't believe such individuals set out to be rude; I believe they have forgotten where they are. They failed to tend to their upkeep.

So, for today, I am grateful for those who tend to their upkeep.

Day 175, June 24

I have a confession to make: I color my hair. I can hear your collective gasp. "What? That glorious, radiant color isn't natural?" Sadly, no.

I was a blonde as a child and for many years thereafter. A husband and children, stress and age, have caught up with me, turning my once golden locks into a mish-mash of gray and white. I have a theory that God wants me to have the blonde hair I had as a child. (I also have a theory that God does not want me to use port-a-potties or go camping, but that's a story for another time.)

What else would God like me to retain from my childhood? Would He like me to be more trusting? Would He like me to find pleasure in small things? Would He like me to be unafraid to give voice to my feelings? Would He like me to give love more freely? Would He like me to sing joyfully, despite my off-key voice?

So, for today, I am grateful for hair color ... and for childlike qualities.