Day 143, May 26

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.   Nora Ephron

I have always admired Nora Ephron's writing.  Invariably, she hits the nail on the head.  How often have I played the part of the victim, either intentionally or unintentionally?  Too many.

It is easy to play the part of the victim.  It is even comforting to assume that part at times.  There's no question that bad things happen.  To all of us.  We live in a fallen world, filled with hard things and sometimes hard people.  When bad things happen to us, we may rightfully feel that we are a victim. 

The trouble is, we don't move forward when we fall into the victim trap.  We don't progress; we remain stuck in a mire of self-pity and anger.  I know.  Because I've been there.  I wrap my self-righteousness around me and tell any and all about the terrible thing that befell me.  Others may listen, even sympathize, but eventually they tire of my whining.

This I know for sure: being a victim can be appealing; being a heroine is empowering.

Day 142, May 25

A few days ago in church, a man spoke about adversity.  Adversity, sooner or later, comes to all of us.  No one, whatever his education, social status, intelligence, or spiritual maturity, is immune from it.  We don't have a choice whether or not we face adversity, the man reminded us.   We do have a choice, though, in how we handle it. 

I am the first to admit that I don't handle it well.  When a member of my family is sick, or hurting, or in trouble, I tremble with fear.  Mostly because I know that I don't have the ability to help.  I can be there physically, I can offer temporal help, I can pray, but I can't remove the adversity my loved one faces.

Sometimes I rant and rail at fate, even, I'm ashamed to admit, at God, for allowing bad things to happen to good people.  It is not an uncommon reaction, and I try to take solace that I'm not alone.  But that is scant comfort when I realize how powerless I am.

The speaker's final remark gave me pause.  "The next time you're faced with adversity, do something for someone else."  The counsel is not original with the speaker, but is profound nonetheless.

This I know for sure:  adversity comes to all of us. Finding strength through service is one of the best ways to get through it.

Day 141, May 24

My granddaughter spent the night with us over the weekend.  The following morning, I suggested we take a walk together.  "I guess I'd better put on my pants," I said.

She looked at me, standing there in my long nightshirt, and said, "That would be good.  And, Grandma, why don't you put them on right side out this time?"   This was in reference to my (one time) wearing my pants inside out. 

We laughed together over her grandmother's absent-mindedness.  Yes, I have worn my pants inside out and lived to not only tell about it but to laugh about it as well.

This I know for sure:  laughing at myself is good therapy.  And the older I get, the more occasion I will probably have to do exactly that.

Day 140, May 23

"Do you wish to be rich, enriched, or enriching?"  -- Anonymous

I found this quote in a writers' newsletter and was intrigued by the juxtaposition of words.  What do I want to be?  I admit it:  I have at times longed for riches.  At another time, I longed to be enriched by the experiences I have.   And I still wish for those things--there is nothing wrong with desiring to be rich or enriched if we share our abundance with others.  But now, I also wish to be enriching.

What does it mean to be enriching?  One meaning is to give support to another.  Another is to provide intellectual stimulation.  A higher meaning takes us to the spiritual level where we give hope and comfort to those in need. 

The desire to be enriching led me to start and continue this blog.  Please don't misunderstand; I do not flatter myself that my words are providing sustained enrichment.  However, I do hope that they give an occasional moment of thought, of insight, of understanding.

This I know for sure:  what we want--to be rich, enriched, or enriching--determines the kind of life we lead.

Day 139, May 22

Life keeps throwing me curve balls.  I imagine you feel the same way.  Just when you think your life has settled down into some kind of expected, if boring, routine, something happens.  An adult child calls with a crisis. A sister needs your help.  A friend is hospitalized with a life-threatening disease.  Whatever it is, it throws you and your life into a tizzy.

I've been there.  Right now, I worry over a dear, longtime friend who is in the hospital with complications from cancer.  My heart weeps for him and for his sweet family.  I try to offer help, even while knowing that my efforts are puny against the need.  What to do?

Prayer, of course.  Every day.  Many times a day.  Is there something more, though, that I could do?  My offer of "please call if you need anything" seems empty.  And finally I got it.  Make an offer of specific help.   "Can I drive your son to work?"  I asked the man's wife.  That was met with a "yes."

How many times have I uttered the sincere but empty words, "Please call if you need anything?"  Too many.  And it shames me that I haven't thought through an individual or family's needs and tailored my offer with those in mind.

This I know for sure:  empty words will most likely produce empty results.

Day 138, May 21

Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden. -- Corrie ten Boom

A dear friend, also a writer, sent this quote to me, knowing that it would resonate with me.   This morning, I found myself praying silently as I went about my day, thanking the Father for His blessings, then asking for His continued blessings upon friends and family who are struggling..  It occurred to me, certainly not for the first time, how unbelievably fortunate I am, indeed, how fortunate we all are, that we can turn to the Father at any time, at any place.

What a precious gift this is.  I honestly wonder how individuals who do not pray, who perhaps do not even believe in God, manage to get through an hour, much less a day, a week, a month, a lifetime.  How do they navigate their lives without the anchor of knowing that God is there, will always be there?

My prayers are not the eloquent ones we sometimes hear uttered in church or at a large assembly.  Instead, they are very personal conversations, directed to the One who knows all.  I talk with the Father as I would a dear friend, all the while knowing that He is aware not only of my needs but of those of everyone.

This I know for sure: prayer is as necessary as breathing.  Without it, I would cease to exist.

Day 137, May 20

Lately I've been thinking a lot about roles in life.

As I talked with my sister the other day, she told me that she was  taking a grandson to a movie in the morning then picking up another grandchild and spending the rest of the day with her.   After her husband's death, my sister received some well-meaning but misplaced advice that she should get a job.    :You need to keep busy," friends told her.

"Should I be working?" she's asked me more than once.

"What could you be doing that is more important than spending time with your grandchildren?" I answered.  "When you look back on your life, will you be more happy or less happy that you chose to make a difference in your grandchildren's lives?"

Please don't get me wrong.  Work is noble and financially necessary for many. However, my sister is well provided for and desires to spend her time serving and helpinig, especially in her family.  She has chosen a role that gives meaning to her life and to those of others. What greater work can there be?  Her path is not right for everyone, but it is right for her.

This I know for sure:  finding our path, discovering our role, is a task we must all do.