Day 140, May 18

Are you ever frustrated with what seems like the unfairness of life?  The wicked prosper; the righteous suffer.  There is scripture (somewhere)  to that effect.  At times, I grow very discouraged about it as I watch friends and family members undergo difficult things:   illness, the death of a belovedspouse, financial hardship.  Each of these people has led a good life, so why do they suffer unimaginable pain and worry?

The Father answered that in part when He told us that this life is a test.  (One I often feel that I'm failing.)  He also told us that there must be opposition in all things, otherwise how will we know the good if we have not tasted the bitter.

All this sounds good, and yet ...

That nasty little part of me wants to see the bad guys suffer sometimes.  Doesn't that seem right?   I know, this is not the proper spirit, but there you have it.  I am frequently not proper.

My husband, a scriptorian, assures me that the bad guys will suffer and that the righteous will overcome all the challenges they face.  But it may not, in fact, it probably will not be in my timing.  It will be in the Lord's time.

So, for today, I am grateful (or trying to be) for the Lord's timing.

Day 139, May 17

Last Sunday, in Sunday School class, our gifted teacher gave a beautiful lesson on gifts of the Spirit. Class members listed different gifts, including healing, faith, teaching, music, and others.

I've never felt like I had any gifts of the Spirit, but her lesson made me think that perhaps I have.  Could an ability to care about others be a gift of the Spirit?  It is, if I act on it. 

Isn't that the way with any gift?  If we are fortunate enough to have a certain gift, we must act on it, or it will likely fade or perhaps even disappear altogether.

So, for today, I am grateful for those times when I--or anyone--choose to act on a gift.

Day 138, May 16

A few days ago I wrote about my husband's and my experience of renewing our drivers' licenses.  I realize I neglected to share another incident that occurred during that time.

Upon entering the licensing bureau, patrons take a number.  A number of people were already in line and we resigned ourselves to a long wait. An elderly couple entered some time after had.  They explained to us that someone had stolen the wife's purse, including her wallet with her driver's license as well as other indentification.  My heart went out to her.

Shortly before it was our turn, a woman and her son discovered that they could not wait the entire time and kindly handed us their number.  I looked at the older couple behind us and whispered to Larry, "Let's give the number to them."

We did so, and they thanked us graciously.  It was a small thing, but made us feel good, knowing that we had saved them an hour or so wait.

I pondered on how one kindness prompts another.  A stranger gave us her number which we passed on to someone else.  What if we all did that, pass on a kindness with no thought of reward?  Like the movie PAY IT FORWARD, we could change the world, or, at least, our world.

So, for today, I am grateful for the kindness of a stranger.

Day 137, May 15

There were very few African Americans among the first members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, Jane Manning James was baptized only one week after hearing the Mormon missionaries preach the Gospel in her hometown in Connecticut. Eager to join the body of the Saints in Nauvoo, Illinois, she journeyed there, having to prove that she was a "free black" along the way.

Her testimony and faith were immensely strong, enabling her to walk several hundred miles on foot to resch her destination. In an autibiographical sketch, she wrote, "We walked until our shoes were worn out and our feet became sore and cracked open and bled untiil you could see the whole print of our feet with blood on the ground. We stopped and united in prayer to the Lord, we asked God the Eternal Father to heal our feet and our prayers were answered and our feet healed forthwith."

Jane's faith also carried her across the plains when the pioneers traveled to Utah. She had little but she was always willing to share. Another pionner sister, Eliza Lyman, who couldn't get flour until after the harvest, was nearly destitute. She wrote that Jane " ... gave me two pounds of the stuff ... it being about half of all she had. "

So, for today, I am grateful for this pioneer woman, an example of courage, faith, and compassion.

Day 136, May 14

A few days ago I wrote about an answered prayer.   It seemed that Heavenly Father wasn't ready for me to be finished with that subject because He put an article on prayer in front of me (or, at least, so it seemed) that begged to be included in another post.

The author of the article differentiated between sincere prayer and those offered in vain.  He quoted Shakespeare's Hamlet, where Claudius, King of Denmark, kneels in prayer to seek forgiveness.  Upon rising, he knows that his entire prayer has been one of useless words:

My words fly up,
my thoughts remain below:
Word without thoughts
never to heaven go."

I wonder how many of my prayers have been as that of Claudius, "... never to heaven go."  Too many, I fear.  My prayers are frequently said by rote, and I cringe at the Father's  probable reaction to them.  Only when I pour out my heart and beg for His wisdom and strength do my prayers begin to find their way to Him.

So, for today, I am grateful for prayers that come from the heart.

Day 135, May 13

Yesterday, in our church services, two beautiful women spoke on mothers.  I was touched by their words, especially their sentiments that a woman can have a mother's heart even if she is not biologlically a mother.  Isn't that wonderful?  To have a mother's heart is to care, to love, to tend. 

I have a number of friends who are not biological mothers, yet they have a mother's heart.  One friend dresses dolls every year and gives them to a charity where they will be given to little girls who might not otherwise receive a special doll.  Surely she has a mother's heart.  Another friend cannot have children, but she teaches in Primary and shares her love of the Gospel with the youngest and most precious of the Lord's children.  She, too, possesses a mother's heart.

So, for today, I am grateful for those have a mother's heart.

Day 134, May 12

Today is Mother's Day.  It is a day of varying emotions for many of us, whether we are thinking of our own mothers, of the mothers we are, of the mothers we want to be.

As a young mother, I resented Mother's Day.  It seemed a day fraught with guilt, unmet expectations, on our part and that of others.  For a few years, I actively boycotted Mother's Day.  I refused to go to church, to be handed a wilted plant that would undoubtedly die when I got it home and hear talks about the sanctity of motherhood.  Where was this supposed sanctity, I wondered, when confronted with a dirty house, dirty dishes, and dirty laundry? 

As an older and, I hope, a bit wiser mother and now grandmother, I have learned to appreciate Mother's Day more.  I remember my own mother.  She wasn't perfect, but she was there, for me, for my sister.  Just as I was not and am not perfect, I tried and try to be there for my children and grandchildren.  I think of my daughter and daughter-in-law, each trying to be good mothers to their children.  And maybe that's all we can do, to try to be good mothers, despite our own imperfections and shortcomings.

So, for today, I am grateful for Mother's Day, a recognition that we are trying, each in our own way, to be the best mothers we can be.