Day 89, March 30

Last fall I pruned our rose bushes. When I stood back to survey the remaining stubs, I wondered if I had cut them back too far. Two days ago I noticed new signs of growth on the bushes, dark purple-green leaves that gave me hope they would bloom again. Pruning is a necessary part of nature's cycle. We prune bushes and trees, hoping to generate new growth. Lately I've been pruning possession, weeding out clothes and books I no longer use. (Do you know how hard it is for me to get rid of books?) Still, the result has lightened our household, and I resolved to give away more unneeded and unused items. It set me to wondering if I could weed out unneeded and unused emotions from my heart as well. I am not a forgiving person. There. I've said it aloud. I hold onto grudges, storing away past hurts, allowing them to fester inside me. It is an unfruitful habit that I seem to be unable to break. Could I prune those feelings and make room for new, healthier ones? The best I can say is that I'm trying. I am looking for forgiveness for those who have hurt me and praying that others whom I've offended can forgive me. It's a hard process, much like giving birth as I labor through a messy and painful morass of feelings. I have hopes that my roses will bloom in full glory this summer, perfuming the air with their scent. I have hopes for myself as well, that I can also bloom, unencumbered by old hurts. So, for today, I am grateful for the art of pruning.