Have you noticed all the self-help books that are out there? As you have surmised, I read. Everything. So when I find a book that promises to help me be better, to do better, I devour it. The problem is, these books fail to address what I truly need ... and that is the humility to turn my life over to Christ and allow Him to change it. To change me.
In eternal matters, I am still a toddler, saying to my Heavenly Parent, "Do it myself. All by myself."
And like a loving parent, the Lord is probably shaking His head and saying, "All right, Jane. Go ahead and do it yourself. I'll be here to catch you when you fall." Do you notice the use of the word "when," not "if?" For I will fall. And fail. It's inevitable.
Finding humility is a tough proposition. It requires wisdom. It requires the willingness to accept my own fraililties and weaknesses and say, "I'm ready, Lord. I'm ready to allow Thee to take over."
This I know for sure: until I'm ready for that, I will continue to fall ... and to fail.