Sunday, July 17, 2011

Day 198, July 17

Sometimes my poor old brain just doesn't want to cooperate. It can't remember what it used to. It can't compute things as it used to. (Well, it was never very good at that, but it was at least usable.) It can't adjust to change as quickly as it used to. Yes, my poor old brain is showing the signs of age.

The same is true of my body. It can't leap buildings in a single bound. It can't run and stop on a dime. It can't lift a grandchild over my head. (Really, it never was able to do those things, but I like to remember it that way and since my memory is going, I figure that's okay.)

What about my heart? In some ways, it, too, has atrophied. It remains unforgiving in many areas. I try to make up for those lapses by doing "good" things when I can. I try to exercise my heart in ways that have nothing to do with strengthening the actual muscle.

The truth is, my heart is a stubborn vessel. It wants what it wants. Sometimes it wants good things; sometimes it doesn't.

As I struggle to keep my brain and body functional, I struggle even more to keep my heart functional. I struggle to expand it, to use it in the way the Father designed. He has not given up on me, so I suppose I should not give up on myself either.

So, for today, I am grateful for a heart that still can be changed under the Master's love.

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