In a previous blog, I wrote about seeing a hypnotherapist in preparation for surgery. One of the things she talked about was erasing "all tension and pretension."
At the time, I didn't zero in on the "pretension" part. Now it stands out as a cautionary sign for me.
I am guilty of pretension, of pretending to be things that I'm not. There. I said it. I pretend to "have it all together" when I'm with others, especially when I'm at church. I pretend that I'm not heartbroken over a child's choices. I pretend that I'm not worried about health problems. I pretend that I'm confident and calm when, inside, I'm a scared little girl.
I wonder if we are all guilty of pretension. And I wonder if we looked past the shell we present, if we could find ways to help each other. If I looked past the seemingly perfect exterior of a friend, would I see that she is worrying over an aging mother? If I looked past another friend's assurances that all is well, would I realize that she has received bad news about a family member?
This I know for sure: pretension fools no one, least of all the Lord.
Pretension comes most often under the guise of social convention, and I think we're all guilty of it. The morning after our cat passed away, we all went to church, even though none of us felt like it, really. I suppose we said that we were doing "OK" when people asked us, but we weren't that day. I was sure that no one wanted me to dissolve into a blubbering pool of pathetic sobbing over "just an animal". He remains much more than that to me, though. I still feel the hole in my life where he should be, and is, and always will be. Yet I am not left alone. As silly as it may be to others, the Lord understands my tears perfectly, and He comforts me. My pretension does not fool the Lord, and I am grateful.
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